Are you ready to make your move?
Are you ready to make your move?
Think about a situation or a relationship in your life and apply these 3 steps.
What happens if you would not make a connection first?
What happens if you don’t make a clear suggestion?
Share your story!
Feel the Connection,
Winning the Race of Life, Right Now!
Ready, Set, Go!
Simple as 1-2-3… really!
What if winning at life could be as simple as 1-2-3, Ready… Set… GO!
Well, it can be and I’ve found that it is easier than I thought.
Every time my life is going the way I want it to, I find myself following three simple actions, three simple ways of being and I’m always satisfied with the results these principles produce.
No more fighting to get other people and events in my life in line to satisfy me.
No more going against the grain, only to feel as if I’ve accomplished something of value.
No more nose against the grindstone, just to feel discomfort so I feel satisfied.
A new way of being that was always present every time life aligns for me, naturally.
So do you want to race? Great! Let’s go…
1. GET READY… Let your heart be the master.
If we are going to race we will want to know where the finish line is, and why we are racing.
Let your heart set these goals for you.
Let your heart answer the “Why of Life“.
Allow your heartfelt desires, wants and wishes and the expression and expansion of them be your reason for getting on the line, for showing up.
Let the force of your heart be the energy that propels you toward your goal.
Don’t worry about your head, the heart is an excellent master and will always include the head in all decisions.
2. GET SET… Find your balance.
You have heard it many times before, all things in balance.
So there is a state to launch from, to push off from, in any direction, because all energies are ready for you and available for you.
You have heard of this before in many forms, Yin/Yan, Black/White, Positive/Negative.
It is the balancing of these forces in a circular motion that allows their force to be available, to move you in the direction of your focus, and hopefully that focus is through the eyes of your heart.
3. Go… Go and follow the path of least resistance.
When you are following your heart in a balanced way then the path of least resistance will be the one that will be true.
Look for the “Yes” and move away from the “No”.
Feel for the “Yes” in life and when you feel its joy, give gratitude for its reception which will bring you right back to your NEXT, your heart’s desire.
Simple as 1-2-3, Ready… Set… Go, or
Yes, Thank you , Next.
Yes… to receiving what you wanted!
Thank You… to the force that delivered it!
Next… toward your new desire from a new perspective!
Feel the Connection
Guest Blog by Katleen
What do we do now?
I don’t know, we’ve never made it this far before!
This little quote from the movie “Edge of Tomorrow” motivated me to write this little Whispering for you today.
After many moments of sharing space and experiences together on the ground and on his back, Kylian and I went on our first full trail walk; together, in Brian’s and Brenda Lee’s footsteps and hoofprints.
It was not the first time for Kylian to carry someone on his back, out in the woods. Years ago we would take out 6- and 8 year olds into the forest to explore. He has also carried me around the pasture while grazing or hanging out with Quinn (at the time) or Brenda Lee (since early 2014). While this kind of trail walk felt like a natural next, it also felt like a “new” next after a new start here in the USA 7 months ago.
Helmet on, bareback pad on, rope halter and reins and hop, up up on his back I went.
Calm and Trusting about what I know: our connection and the way I feel with him and upon his back.
Excited and a little scared about what I know: knowing how much he loves running free, frolicking, creating his own way, exploring left and right, running away from us and galloping full speed while kicking up his heels at a 45 degree angle as he finds his way back through the bush.
How would our walk go today?
I didn’t know.
What mattered to me was that we did this together. I wanted to offer him his freedom of expression and space to move in his own rhythm. At the same time I wanted to feel connected, offer him safety and let him feel that I am taking responsibility to do the best I can being aware of him and our environment. I took a soft deep breath and arrived in the “here and now” and felt for our connection in that moment. Gently I asked him to follow Brenda Lee into the forest. Whether it was because of the newness of it, or because of him purposely being careful: we started walking, very gentle, steady but soft, with a focus forward toward Brenda Lee and a soft eye. I could see his eye look back at me, his ears fully paying attention to the human on his back, while I kept my focus and my soft eye at him.
I felt him float underneath me, fluently moving. I noticed what he was looking at and could clearly feel his intention to keep moving forward while taking in his environment. He was aware of the different energy during this walk and it was beautiful to experience his witness – and witness him – from this perspective. I definitely felt our Withness. And with our, I mean Kylian’s and mine, Brian’s and Brenda Lee’s. Because even though they were leading the way, Brenda Lee was looking back and adding her part to this calm and gentle journey. Brian’s energy was soft and “down” and compared to the other previous walks, he did not infuse a far away forward focus with playful eagerness. He had a soft eye and a nearby focus, enjoying this walk in his very own way together with Brenda Lee by his side.
We arrived at a point where I felt our walk coming to an end. That last half Kylian and I were moving so much as one that it felt perfect and I actually wanted to get off, give him a big hug and enjoy whatever would follow next from his side. I jumped off his back and Brian looked at me – surprised – and asked me why I’m on the ground. “Well…I thought we were at the end” , I said as surprisingly. “You are the passenger, you are not supposed to decide today. Hop back on and don’t know, be curious with Kylian”. Me, fully back in my head now, go again through the phases of excitement and fear for what’s next and reconnect. I become aware of Kylian actually just standing next to me waiting for whatever would be “our next” and decide to hop back on and guide us both up the hill, back in Brenda Lee’s and Brian’s footsteps.
And from this state again I could see, feel, notice all nuances within myself, within Kylian and around us. And this was and is what matters to me.
Isn’t it astounding how quickly one gets disconnected and arrives in that lonely place of “expectations” and how a little cue helps us to reconnect again and to arrive in that wide open space, full of opportunities, endless possibilities and awareness of all things and others around us.
How a simple walk can be such a great experience, for 4 individual beings, all in their own unique way, yet all together. Every new adventure we begin is one we have never been on before, even if it sometimes looks or feels very familiar to one we know.
Share your adventures below!
Guest Blog by Judy McClain
“You must be funny. You must be strong. You must become amenable to total relaxation in order to withstand the emotions you must withstand.”
What I love most about my father’s words, aside from his urgent and impartial delivery, is that he invites us to relax.
In the Yoga Sutra, master Patanjali outlines the ethical disciplines not as cautionary messages but as sound advice. There is nothing punitive or cautionary about Patanjali’s Yamas and Niyamas. Rather, living a disciplined life increases our awareness, vitality, and clarity.
• “In the presence of nonviolence all hostilities cease.” • “When one becomes saturated in Truth, everything that comes from the mouth is Truthful.” • “When one treasures the life force, vitality increases.”
And so when I entered my father’s hospital room and he delivered his message, I was aware of the ubiquitous force behind his words; even in the moment, I thought, My father is channeling Patanjali!
My father was giving his advice not to caution me but to help me cope with the inevitable waves of emotion that surface on the mind and in the body. If we are to withstand the drama this life offers, we must develop three habits.
You must be funny. My father was a jokester and he rarely took things personally. He had the vision to see himself in the larger context of humanity. He was raised primarily by his mother, in poor conditions during the Great Depression. Part of their house had a dirt floor. His dog had lost an eye and a leg by the time my father adopted him. Getting by was important, and everyone was trying to get by.
You must be strong. My father taught me to box, at an early age. He also taught me to swim, to hold a headstand, and to apologize. These were formal lessons in stamina and resiliency that added up to a person’s character. You can take it, he often said to me. Allow yourself to take the punch.
You must be amenable to total relaxation. And we arrive at Yoga. Yoga is nothing if not the art of relaxation. A relaxed body is a receptive body. A relaxed body will allow energy to flow through it and out of it. A relaxed body will move swiftly, when necessary, and sleep well, when necessary. A relaxed body allows the Life Force to pulse through with clarity and insight.
About Judy McClain, Director of Grace Yoga (E-RYT, RYT 500)
Judy McClain founded Grace Yoga in 2009 to answer a call from the community for classical yoga studies. She has been teaching seven classes a week for five years at Grace, has precepted four groups of teacher trainees, and never has her life felt so fresh and unordinary. Judy teaches through the grace of her guru, Sri Dharma Mittra (dharmayogacenter.com), and continues her studies with Dharma in NYC. A devotional yogi, Judy lives in the Grace ashram. She wakes each morning to teach classes that are collusions of language and form, spirit and body, love and muscle.
Guest Post by Katleen (written in 2011, reposted in 2014)
Quinn has left us.
I’ve always been afraid of losing him.
Afraid of not knowing how to move on without him and his silent wisdom.
Reflecting back on this day and the first days after his passing, has given me some beautiful insights and maybe opened the first precious gifts he has left for me forever.
The horses I share my life with have all opened ways toward great introspection. The ponies were my first start. Kylian added the playful note and Quinn the wisdom. All of them stimulate a different part of me daily, a part to be developed more thoroughly than without them. What started as a leisurely pursuit, evolved into a way of living.
I can’t say that I appreciate one more than another as I love them all, but Quinn….he was and will always be one of a kind. His unexpected appearance in my life and my unexplainable attraction to him (however the Friesian breed is my favorite above all) were the answer to all I needed at the time we found each other. I didn’t know then, but I learned to recognize along our time together, that he was playing a crucial role in me developing myself as the being I am.
What I learned and experienced about connection and being true to myself and them, was as real as it could be the day Quinn passed away. The connection we shared and that grew along the years was profound. With Quinn it was all about softness, mindfulness, inner peace, awareness and connecting to a higher level of consciousness. This experience of connecting at that level with another being gave me such a feeling of “oneness” that it even didn’t matter any more whether I had him next to me, at the other side of the pasture or even out of sight. And no matter if this was only in my imagination or if this was the real deal, it mattered to me and to how I experienced him as an equine being. The day he passed away to me felt as his “being” just leaving his equine physical body without disrupting the heartfelt connection.
I don’t ignore that I was afraid. I don’t hide that I was as sad as I could be. It hurt like hell to feel him suffer and I didn’t want him to go at all! I wanted him to stay, to be able to have more magic moments like we had, to hear his happy nickering in the morning, to smell him or to feel the shivering down my spine when touching his whiskers. To have his shoulder to lean on and his silent wisdom to support me while playing with Kylian. But I knew, and I knew very well, that he only had issues when I had issues with my issues and the last thing I wanted to put him through was experiencing me not being true to myself the last day we could spend together like this.
So in contradiction to what we humans often say – “be strong”, “get yourself together” – I cried and cried and cried. I let all out: fear, pain, sadness, love, gratitude, all came out as a flood and all I could do was just go with that flow. No restriction, no tension, no shivering, no hurting throat from holding in any emotion. And I thanked him….nothing else was in my mind but gratitude, endless gratitude.
All day long, while his prognosis was still uncertain, Kylian, Jolly and I stayed together with him. The purity of each of our emotions and connection was clear and the appreciation coming from Quinn was felt. All happened at his rhythm. We let him be free to be until his last breath when he decided that it was enough.
And than it was all peaceful. Tears kept on flowing but it was as peaceful as it could be. No pressure, no tension, no “holding on to” or non-accepting anything. It was not good, nor bad, but just OK and peaceful. All was well.
All was connected, we all were connected and the level of connection reached it’s summit. Was Quinn’s work done? Was he done with me? With us? Was he satisfied and proud and comfortable to go? Was I really able to move on?
And he has guided me Home. Toward him, I had the courage to open up my heart. And the friends being here today to support me with their kindness, I have to thank him for. As each one of them appeared in my life once I came Home. The passion for life that I rediscovered, I have to thank him for. The ability to reconnect with myself, I have to thank him for. And as Brian says in his Whispering – There is Life after Death - “She could honor his life and bring him back into her world by feeling for his presence and guidance with every relationship she has going forward and toward the life she is creating” That is taking place right now, tomorrow and the day after and next. I’m very much aware of that and as my friend Joni said this so beautifully “he is with you in all-ways” …. He is. I see and feel him in all shapes of the beauty around me.
The first two days after his passing away, I didn’t feel like talking. Not because I was holding in or suppressing, but just because all was peaceful. I remember sharing this feeling with Brian first, which was based on the connection we share and to me it was just enough to know that he knew because I knew he understood ..
Those days I felt no need for consolation. It was enough to feel the presence of my friends, my friends who appeared into my life since the presence of Quinn, and that feeling passing through….”you’re not alone”. Thank you all for your kindness.
I learned to let all flow while letting go and keep that smile even throughout the tears. Because, none of us has any reason to be sad today because of what happened the day before but only grateful for what it has left over for us to carry further into eternal development. I will move on with an open heart full of love for all who will cross my path.
Have you lost a dear one?
How did you experience this time and how does it feel today?
Would you like to share your story with us?
Brian, your passion for connecting with people and for helping them get and stay on track is incredible.
Our conversations about life and this work has carried me through a lot of times of doubt, and uncertainty, so thank you
Yogic Wisdom for Horse and Human
It sounds as easy as “just put another hat on” or “put on that coat instead of this one”.
But moving from one state into another doesn’t always work that smooth. Judgement of the state we want to leave binds us even more to it so that the next best state seems soooo far away. Even a little change feels unreachable.
State is everything and I discovered this earlier with my horses. The funny thing is that until I heard about Horses Know The Way Home, I don’t think I realized I could choose my state at will. I think most of the time I happened to be in a state and most of the time, that state served what I was about to do. If the state did not serve me or did not feel good, well, than … so be it. I’d either let time go by and deal with it or – if I had the luxury to do so – I would do something else and by taking that action my state would change along the way and I would feel better. Can you relate?
Now, on our weekly walks in the forest with Kylian and Brenda Lee, Brian often reminds me of changing my state by choice. It is something I want to learn and so he motivates me to practice. Even though I understand what he is telling me, it usually feels like faking a state and by doing so just lying to myself. Lying because internally I don’t feel that state at all! So last weekend’s adventure came in handy to explore some more about my state of being and brought an interesting “A-Ha” moment …
A little over a week ago, Kylian got his first pair of shoes. The reason for shoes in his case is that he had developed a crack in his right front foot over the last few months. With the first trimming since he and I arrived together in the US, we saw that there was a risk for bacteria to enter the white line. Now that the warmer weather has arrived he got a shoe on that foot with some protective polyester to fill up the crack while his hoof grows. And, for the non-horse people amongst our readers: with one shoe, there always comes a second one on the opposite side to balance things out.
Kylian did great and moved along well with his first pair of shoes so we kept on walking and playing in the first week. Last Sunday though, he already lost that shoe! Even though it fit perfectly! So feeling a little surprised about it, I decided to call the farrier and start looking for the shoe. It was a relief to hear that the farrier could come the next day and it would be great if I … found the shoe. Sure, hmmmmm, where would I start? We had been on the trails in the forest, we had been out in the field and of course, there is the paddock covered with leaves. Where and when did he lose it? And, I actually planned to do something else with both Brenda Lee and Kylian so for a moment I realized I had to say “goodbye” to my Sunday morning fun … Or not?
I decided I would go on the same walk as the day before, take Kylian with me and go find the shoe. Brian said “go out and make it an adventure, this is perfect to practice your state of being because now you will really feel curious”.
And I did, I felt curious and determined to find it. So after grooming (shedding season!) Brenda Lee and Kylian, I took Kylian with me on our adventure to find his shoe.
Kylian and I left the pasture and I decided on a starting point for our search. Totally aware of him and of myself, I turned left and he floated right with me. I started to focus on the ground and down his nose went. Even the little bits of grass popping out of the bed of leaves didn’t seem to catch his attention … he was following my focus and for a moment I believed he knew exactly what I was looking for and he was paying attention too.
We walked up the sand dunes where we played the day before and the one where he usually hesitates a little bit to climb he just walked right up. After doing the tour twice, I stopped for a moment to decide where to go next. He waited with me, not asking for anything, until I made up my mind about our next. Off we went onto the trail. Feeling him, feeling me, focusing forward and focusing down to find that shoe. And he was with me every second, every move.
At a certain point he looked back to make sure I knew that we were really leaving Brenda Lee now. At moments like this, we usually go into a little conversation and it is not unusual he starts jumping and bucking and running around because he’s at that edge of wanting to go back to Brenda Lee. This time it seemed so much easier to communicate back to him that that was OK but we really had to move on to find his shoe. And without any effort and with a floating rope, he walked up to me and we continued our quest together.
Even at our last straight line towards the field, he didn’t accelerate or started prancing but stayed right with me. No ups and downs in my state, no need to change state because I would feel a little upset. We moved from our curious and determined state into a state of total relaxation. I let him graze in the field while looking around for a lost shoe in the growing grass, but there we were also unsuccessful. So we walked back to the pasture and Brenda Lee – who happily greeted us – and spent another great 2 hours together.
It’s not new to feel the connection with Kylian and go out for walks like this. But it was the first time that I payed so close attention to my state and why I had been successful. I had a purpose! I had something real that mattered. And my state served me to move toward that goal. I did not feel any need to explain it or to state it to be the right state. It was pure and clear and any other emotion that came up also went away like a little wave. I noticed Kylian finding comfort in this clarity.
Recognizing Kylian’s relaxed and confident state right with me from the beginning until the end motivates me to pay closer attention to each time I am clearly in a certain state and truly take in the feeling of it.
I believe that managing my state voluntarily is definitely worth practicing, because it will serve the connection (the internal connection with myself plus the connection with who’s around me). The result of this practice is more valuable than staying stuck in judgement of the undesired state.
Guest Blog by Katleen Reid
This quote from Brian brought me here today to write a little post for you.
Over the last 3 months you have met Kylian, Brenda Lee’s new equine friend.
Well, my name is Katleen, I’m Kylian’s human and Brian’s wife.
Some of you I have already met in person but for most of you I am working behind the scenes at Horses Know The Way Home. I’m doing this now for about 3 years of which 2 years full time and I can share that I do really feel “Home”.
As far as I can remember I’ve felt “Home” most of my life from childhood throughout my young adulthood. I’ve felt Home with myself and Home where I lived and I’ve always had and taken the freedom to express what’s inside of me in the things I did. It wasn’t until after graduating from University and working full time for about 2 years that I felt “Lost” for the first time.
Lost as in …. now what?
Lost as in … I love this and I love that but even though it’s the path I chose …. it leaves me empty.
I had chosen to be an expert in physical education and with on top of that having my masters in physical therapy I figured that was it! But after 2 years, no matter how much I loved working with all my clients and patients, something was missing. “Will this be what I will do for the rest of my life?” “Will I settle right here, right now and follow this path that I chose once?” The latter would have been the easiest way and most likely the clearest and happiest way for all those around me at that time. But what about me? I felt resistance and restriction.
I remember experiencing major struggle to balance my head and my heart and leaning toward the reasoning of all that was “better this way” while my heart was screaming to be heard. I felt trapped in my own mind while the outside world tried to offer clarity by sharing what they all thought was best for me; best for me so it would be best for them…
I might never know exactly what brought us together but the circumstances first lead me to researching about canine and equine physical therapy. As a PT for humans, I started to specialize in canine and equine PT and fell in love with horses; a love that had only existed in my imagination before since I never had horses in my life until then. And through working more with canines and equines, I found some pieces I had been looking for to better help my human clients. I started to feel a shift.
I was lucky to have the amazing opportunity to actually keep a horse and started to look around to make that happen. I searched the internet, visited places, educated myself in horse-ownership and attended multiple clinics, training sessions of others and prepared my PT specialization and one day, in the Summer of 2007, I came across a picture of a 3 months old Friesian stallion. And I could not get my eyes off of him. He lit up that spark inside of me that I had missed and ignored for years. I visited him twice and it was clear: it’s him! And at 4.5 months old, he moved from his mom and dad to me.
I can go on and on about all the things we did in our first years together but the most important message I wish to share with you today is how my love for him and our shared connection helped me to find my Way Home again. With ups and downs, for sure. But with all the challenges, confrontations, uncertainties and dreams taken together, that feeling of unconditional love has been the most powerful force to get me back on my feet, get me moving and get me moving toward what I felt inside was calling me.
And that what was calling me was in line with me and totally out of line with where I was at the time. It was in line with what I had been doing so far and it was calling out for expansion. It was the start of a whirlwind of changes.
With ups and downs, for sure. But with all the challenges, confrontations, uncertainties and dreams taken together, that feeling of unconditional love has been the most powerful force to get me back on my feet, get me moving and get me moving toward what I felt inside was calling me.
This calling made me decide to quit my job and go for it! I felt no fear to start over. I would rather start from zero again instead of living a life or quiet desperation, fitting in to please my environment and settle for what I chose one day in the past.
I left the house I lived in in Belgium and a few months later in 2012 I moved to the US, following a calling, not knowing what it would bring. Not knowing how long I would stay. Not knowing exactly what I would do.
I learned that with initiating change, there comes big responsibility and lots of Letting Go. Even though the Toward was feeling good, the safe, I could not ignore the familiar and the comfortable that I was Letting Go off also.
As I was moving toward my next, I had to let others go forever and I had to Let Kylian Go for an uncertain period of time. This period of change and transition was blissful and painful at the same time and consumed a lot of energy. Still, nothing was certain and the only certainty was my desire for what I wanted. Explaining all of this to the people around me was even more awkward because with the exception of a few, nobody could relate.
I can’t remember how many tears I cried, missing Kylian, questioning my decision, missing him even more when watching Brian and Brenda Lee playing. And then again feeling hope with every step forward toward my goal that had now also become “our” goal as Brian and I got married later in 2012.
The previous simplicity of being Home had changed and expanded. With all the doubts, fears, new and unfamiliar things and environment, I was challenged to feel Home and stay connected with my Inner Truth, expressing myself (in a new language, in a new environment, in a new job I was unfamiliar with, in a new country that I wasn’t sure of yet to be accepted by…). Because, even though I was exactly where I wanted to be, feeling Home goes beyond that.
And it was here that the HKTWH Principles became more important than ever before to make myself aware of “Home” every single day. It starts as a practice, it becomes a habit and it becomes a part of life. It’s as natural as it can be but I needed reminders and support in this time of transition.
In January 2014 – almost 2 years later – I was finally able to fly Home with Kylian. And talking about Home … it was as if he knew all along: “This is where we go, this is where we belong and this is where we call Home. Now, Let’s go out and play!!!”
It’s a never-ending journey and I learned in this period of 2 years that it’s really not about how far down your path you are, but how far on your path you are in any given moment of your life. And it takes introspection to find out about that path and about what’s natural to you however … only thought doesn’t get you there. Go back to your childhood, go back to all the things you did that always felt natural to you. In those moments lie many answers to your questions.
I wish for all of you to find your Way Home, over and over again. Life will keep twisting and turning and you can either fight against it or grow with it. And if you choose to grow, grow in relationship, grow in connectedness. Whether it is with your life partner, with your best friends, with your animal(s). During those times that you’re unsure, you’ll see the reflection of what’s Home in their eyes. They will remind you of who you really are and help you to stay on your path.