Forget forgiveness as the primary means to moving beyond a troubling situation.

 

Before I begin, I want to make clear that I think that forgiveness is a powerful tool to help us let go of real and perceived past grievances of others toward us, us toward others and us toward ourselves.

 

Also let me be clear that I use the power of forgiveness daily to clear space in my life and heart.

 

Forgiveness does have some drawbacks that I experience when using it as the ONLY way of moving beyond what is and toward what matters.

 

While I’m in the process of forgiving, I tend to get hung up on three sticky points:

 

1. While I’m forgiving, I can easily lean toward self righteousness, as I perceive myself as the victim and the other as the oppressor.

2. While forgiving, my focus is on what happened, not what I want to happen.

3. While forgiving, I first realize that I have been blaming for too long which feels like shit and that is not the space I want to forgive from.

 

Forgiveness by itself is tough to get and keep going.

 

There is another big brother or sister to forgiveness that can really help get things moving in a better feeling direction.

 

“Kick Ass Kindness” has taken me and my forgiveness to another space of freedom and empowerment.

 

The reason I say Kick Ass Kindness, especially when forgiving myself, is because I usually have resistance to what is best for me initially. It takes a loving kind act to take myself by the hand or by the hair kicking and screaming toward what matters most.

 

Sort of like sending me out to my first summer camp, baseball tryouts or even bodysurfing in the waves. At first I offered resistance and a wall of self consciousness. It always took the encouraging loving words of someone who cares, followed by a kick in the ass that was just enough of the push I needed to get me going.

“Only Kindness Matters”

Pause for a moment and read the lyrics from the Song “Hands” by Jewel

 

 

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“Hands”

If I could tell the world just one thing

It would be that we’re all OK

And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful

And useless in times like these

I won’t be made useless

I won’t be idle with despair

I will gather myself around my faith

For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know

But they’re not yours, they are my own

But they’re not yours, they are my own

And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes

It didn’t steal your laughter

And heartache came to visit me

But I knew it wasn’t ever after

We’ll fight, not out of spite

For someone must stand up for what’s right

‘Cause where there’s a man who has no voice

There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know

But they’re not yours, they are my own

But they’re not yours, they are my own

I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters

In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know

But they’re not yours, they are my own

But they’re not yours, they are my own

And I am never broken

My hands are small I know

But they’re not yours, they are my own

But they’re not yours, they are my own

And I am never broken

We are never broken

We are God’s eyes

God’s hands

God’s mind

We are God’s eyes

God’s hands

God’s heart

We are God’s eyes

God’s hands

God’s eyes

We are God’s hands

We are God’s hands

——————————————————

 

So it is with our hearts, minds, eyes and hands that we can offer ourselves the kindness that the act of kindness offers to the giver and the receiver.

 

And in the act of kindness, forgiveness is For Giving.

 

Today I was listening to the 2014 Hay House World Summit’s interview with Michael J Chase.

 

I heard Michael say that Kindness is Love and Action.

 

Where there is love, forgiveness has taken place and where there is love and kindness there is someone creating a new experience.

 

This is where I want to go.

 

Yes, I want to be forgiving.

More, I want what I want to forgive to be better than before forgiveness was needed.

 

On Michael’s site  you see “Kindness Matters” on the shirts.

 

At Release Your Inner HorsePower I’m always focused on moving others toward what matters, as they cling to old patterns that no longer serve.

 

This is where Kick Ass Kindness many times is the most loving, forgiving act I can do for myself or another.

 

Kindness is Love in Action and I want to move toward what matters!

Do you?

 

Feel the Connection

 

Take your turn

Make your move

Create that change

 

Love,

Brian

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