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There is Life after Death

At some point in our life, we deal with loss …The loss of a friend, a partner, a soulmate.

In a recent conversation with my wife we talked about Quinn, the Friesian she let go off in 2011. He used to be Kylian’s best friend before he met Brenda Lee in person and he used to be Katleen’s equine soulmate, along with Kylian.

This Whispering is about how I used the story of being human to help her in 2011 with how to create life in the next chapter of the story of Quinn, her horse friend.

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The human I’m referring to is Frank Reid, my father, and how he became more alive in my story of him since his death than when he was alive.

My father, as all of us, had many sides to his personality. I often refer to him as a “More Than”. More kind, more selfless, more funny and more generous Than anyone else I knew.  More mean, more violent, more selfish and more fearful Than anyone else I ever knew.

After his passing, I got on with my life and decided  to pursue a childhood dream of being a Body Builder.  During this venture I could often be witnessed in the gym lifting incredible amounts of weight.  People around me were amazed and gave me great space when I was working out.  Not because I wanted them to but rather because of the intense focused state I would put myself into, in order to lift these weights.  I would tap into my fathers’ violence and meanness and move weights that were previously beyond my imagination.

While in this state a funny thing happened, I was filled with gratitude for my father being my father.  Something I had lost long ago, wiped out by the states of being on the other side of too much alcohol, and what that does to an already intense personality acting out his pain on others.

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Here I was, headphones on, listening to Christine Aguilera’s music as loud as it would go and the most obvious forces driving my performance were my fathers intensity, anger and violence applied to my childhood dreams in a focused pursuit.

I never asked for this intensity but here it was, available for my use to create rather than destroy. An option only made true by my choosing to direct it toward the life I wanted to create, the story I wanted to write.

I wondered if he ever had this option, if he was ever aware of this choice.

Resentment, loss and anger were transformed through awareness and understanding to gratitude, love, and support and the gift was my father “ALIVE” in my life, lifting me toward the life I wanted to create.  My father was alive in my life and I was forty at the time.  “Thank you Frank”.

Back to Katleen.  As I listened to Katleen share her feelings of her loss of Quinn I was moved to see how well she was doing.

I remember she was feeling the loss, the pain, the sorrow and she was O.K. with it.  She was actually slightly beyond O.K. to a state of satisfaction that she could at once feel pain, loss, sorrow, and confusion all the while feeling warmth, fondness, connection and love toward her companion.  She was solid in her authenticity and genuineness. Two states that Quinn taught her were the foundation of living in the moment and following your heart.  As I listened to her, I felt a sense of relief that she was doing well and a sense of gratitude toward having a friend who lives life according to the life lessons her horses have taught her.  To be in the moment, to be genuine and authentic.

In her authenticity she shared that she will never get to feel him again.  She alluded to her sense of his “goneness”,  his forever absence from her life, his death.

This is where I asked her to think about another option, his Life.

I shared with her the story of my father and asked her to consider that every horse she owns or rides from this day forth will be influenced by her relationship with Quinn. She could honor his life and bring him back into her world by feeling for his presence and guidance with every relationship she has going forward and toward the life she is creating.  She could create the story of Quinn’s next rather than his never.  The choice was hers, she was aware of the option.

I also reminded her of how so many people ask me how old Brenda Lee is, while what they are really asking is how long till she dies.  What they don’t know is Brenda Lee will always live in my life forever as Quinn does in Katleen’s story.

It’s not the story of the loss of Quinn, it is the story of the living of Quinn in Katleen’s life.

Visit this link to read Katleen’s guest Blog about Quinn.

 

Have you been in the situation of losing a loved one?

What are the gifts that your loved one(s) have left for you, today?

Share it with me and with us all and let your gifts expand.

Feel the Connection,

Brian Reid


Get Brian’s and Brenda Lee’s help to move you, make that change and ultimately gallop to freedom within a timeframe beyond your imagination.

Book cover

Get Inspirational Whisperings today!

Click here for more info about this book.


 

 

Letting Go with Gratitude to Let’s Go!

Guest Post by Katleen (written in 2011, reposted in 2014)

“I hope you discover and open the gifts Quinn has left for you as you tend to your heart”

(Brian Reid)

 

Quinn has left us.
I’ve always been afraid of losing him.
Afraid of not knowing how to move on without him and his silent wisdom.

Quinn and Kat by Les Kiger

Drawing of us together by my friend Les Kiger

Reflecting back on this day and the first days after his passing, has given me some beautiful insights and maybe opened the first precious gifts he has left for me forever.

The horses I share my life with have all opened ways toward great introspection. The ponies were my first start. Kylian added the playful note and Quinn the wisdom. All of them stimulate a different part of me daily, a part to be developed more thoroughly than without them. What started as a leisurely pursuit, evolved into a way of living.

I can’t say that I appreciate one more than another as I love them all, but Quinn….he was and will always be one of a kind. His unexpected appearance in my life and my unexplainable attraction to him (however the Friesian breed is my favorite above all) were the answer to all I needed at the time we found each other. I didn’t know then, but I learned to recognize along our time together, that he was playing a crucial role in me developing myself as the being I am.

What I learned and experienced about connection and being true to myself and them, was as real as it could be the day Quinn passed away. The connection we shared and that grew along the years was profound. With Quinn it was all about softness, mindfulness, inner peace, awareness and connecting to a higher level of consciousness. This experience of connecting at that level with another being gave me such a feeling of “oneness” that it even didn’t matter any more whether I had him next to me, at the other side of the pasture or even out of sight. And no matter if this was only in my imagination or if this was the real deal, it mattered to me and to how I experienced him as an equine being. The day he passed away to me felt as his “being” just leaving his equine physical body without disrupting the heartfelt connection.

Withe Quinn and Kylian 2009-2

With Quinn and Kylian in the Summer of 2009

I don’t ignore that I was afraid. I don’t hide that I was as sad as I could be. It hurt like hell to feel him suffer and I didn’t want him to go at all! I wanted him to stay, to be able to have more magic moments like we had, to hear his happy nickering in the morning, to smell him or to feel the shivering down my spine when touching his whiskers. To have his shoulder to lean on and his silent wisdom to support me while playing with Kylian. But I knew, and I knew very well, that he only had issues when I had issues with my issues and the last thing I wanted to put him through was experiencing me not being true to myself the last day we could spend together like this.

So in contradiction to what we humans often say – “be strong”, “get yourself together” – I cried and cried and cried. I let all out: fear, pain, sadness, love, gratitude, all came out as a flood and all I could do was just go with that flow. No restriction, no tension, no shivering, no hurting throat from holding in any emotion. And I thanked him….nothing else was in my mind but gratitude, endless gratitude.

All day long, while his prognosis was still uncertain, Kylian, Jolly and I stayed together with him. The purity of each of our emotions and connection was clear and the appreciation coming from Quinn was felt. All happened at his rhythm. We let him be free to be until his last breath when he decided that it was enough.

And than it was all peaceful. Tears kept on flowing but it was as peaceful as it could be. No pressure, no tension, no “holding on to” or non-accepting anything. It was not good, nor bad, but just OK and peaceful. All was well.

All was connected, we all were connected and the level of connection reached it’s summit. Was Quinn’s work done? Was he done with me? With us? Was he satisfied and proud and comfortable to go? Was I really able to move on?

 

“Thank you for allowing him the dignity to release his spirit when it grew too large for his body. He will watch over you always and guide you to your Home.”

(Deborah Barbour Lundy)

 

And he has guided me Home. Toward him, I had the courage to open up my heart. And the friends being here today to support me with their kindness, I have to thank him for. As each one of them appeared in my life once I came Home. The passion for life that I rediscovered, I have to thank him for. The ability to reconnect with myself, I have to thank him for. And as Brian says in his Whispering – There is Life after Death - “She could honor his life and bring him back into her world by feeling for his presence and guidance with every relationship she has going forward and toward the life she is creating” That is taking place right now, tomorrow and the day after and next. I’m very much aware of that and as my friend Joni said this so beautifully “he is with you in all-ways” …. He is. I see and feel him in all shapes of the beauty around me.

 

“The love within you can transform your pain to beauty with benefits, if you let it”

(Brian Reid)

 

The first two days after his passing away, I didn’t feel like talking. Not because I was holding in or suppressing, but just because all was peaceful. I remember sharing this feeling with Brian first, which was based on the connection we share and to me it was just enough to know that he knew because I knew he understood ..

Those days I felt no need for consolation. It was enough to feel the presence of my friends, my friends who appeared into my life since the presence of Quinn, and that feeling passing through….”you’re not alone”. Thank you all for your kindness.

I learned to let all flow while letting go and keep that smile even throughout the tears. Because, none of us has any reason to be sad today because of what happened the day before but only grateful for what it has left over for us to carry further into eternal development. I will move on with an open heart full of love for all who will cross my path.

 

Have you lost a dear one? 

How did you experience this time and how does it feel today?

Would you like to share your story with us?
Katleen Reid

Gallop to Freedom

Gallop to freedom.

Come, gallop with me.
Gallop with me and feel the “Horsepower” of your dreams as they lift you up.
Up over the crushing defeat of complacency.
Up over the withered wishes.
Up over the feelings of “less than”.
Together we gallop and soar!

Soar! Toward a loves’ desire to be free.
Soar! Toward a song that yearns to be heard.
Soar! Toward a human heart that wants to be seen by the eyes that it connects with.
Soar! Toward the ears that ache to hear the words,”I see you” from your lips.

This is where we are travelling together.
Come, fly with me.
Come gallop to freedom.

Gallop to Freedom

Gallop to Freedom

There is a yearning behind the eyes of one who loves you. There is a being that longs to whisper into your ear, “You are enough.” There is someone who will not listen to the “stories” of your life’s drama, who refuses to be fooled by the masks you constantly hide behind: Anger and Self-Doubt. You may think that your true self is discreetly tucked away, that you have successfully held away the world for another day, that you remain unseen. But you are mistaken.

There is one day in particular that stands out to me as the day I finally broke through my own glass ceiling. On this beautiful day of flight, I felt a distinct yearning and connection with an 1800lb Shire mare, known as Brenda Lee. She is my jogging partner, my friend, and the one who knows me best, who knows me as I am – raw and unguarded. And it was on this day that she also became my vessel of flight.

***word of warning***

I do not recommend this to anyone (especially professionals!) I only ask that you ask,“What would you do in order to feel Love’s presence carry you Galloping to Freedom?”

On this day, Brenda Lee and I meandered down to the edge of a stream by a field, as we had done almost every day for the last two years. We walked and jogged three to five miles together (Brenda Lee on a lead, myself on foot) on a path that led us into the woods and to a beautiful brook on the edge of a glen.

We came across four friends on horseback who (jokingly) invited us to join them. I accepted the offer, realizing that they had no idea how long and fast Brenda Lee and I could run together. I knew we would have no trouble keeping pace along the wooded trails, even though I was on foot and they were mounted.

Off we went together, the ten of us; five humans and five equines. We all kept pace together with Brenda Lee and I bringing up the rear. You see, Brenda Lee is quite the protective “Alpha” mare personality and does best in groups with a generous space bubble.

As the trail ended, it led us to a thirty acre field surrounded by (typical) old stone walls. The other four riders exchanged glances and turned to me to say they were parting ways, as they planned to race across the open field.

Brenda Lee and I watched as in one moment all four horses rocked back onto their hocks like a coiled spring and in one thunderous whoosh the riders softened the reins, allowing the horses to spring forward in unison. The ground shook with a vibration that carried itself straight into my chest. Time seemed to stand still as Brenda Lee and I stood anchored in the ground, following the group as they shrank into the distant horizon, finally disappearing behind the 200 year old stone wall.

I drew a breath. Only then was the moment of suspense broken and Brenda Lee started snorting, hopping and jumping around on the end of her lead like a “Shire Rabbit”.

God, I always wanted to be able to do what they had just done.
In the midst of the equine thunder something had let go inside of me – perhaps it was reason? Reason be-damned, my emotional horsepower was released.

What I did next would change my life forever – in every way.
I climbed atop an old log and with Brenda Lee looking more and more like a fire breathing dragon, I jumped on board.

Gallop to Freedom

Gallop to Freedom

As I landed on her back she rocked back onto her hind end and exploded into the gallop that would set me free. We shot forward together and I became aware that I had just surrendered all of myself to her.

Brenda Lee accelerated with each stride, twisting, turning and throwing her head trying to get me to release my grip and just “Be” with her. I realized that all of my fear, doubt and feelings of “less than” were contained in that vice grip. In clutching, I was bringing them along with me as well as all of my excitement, passion, desires and feelings of “Yes than”.

I immediately picked up the lead rope to realize that all 12 feet were hanging off to one side and, of course, I had not put on the bareback pad with that little leather handle to hold onto. As I settled into this reality, Brenda Lee had straightened out as was coming up to full speed. It was too late to bail so I assumed the “Pony Express” position of the American cowboy galloping across the West.

I assumed this posture quite well, even muttering,”duh-dump, duh-dump, duh-dump, duh-dump”. I noticed Brenda Lee’s head up high in rhythm with my “duh-dumps”. For a brief stride I was proud as a peacock, only to have this feeling washed away by the thought,“I do not know what I am doing!!!”

It was at this moment that the words of my friend and Natural Dressage teacher came into my mind and spilled (thank God!) down into my body:
“Surrender. Open your hips and surrender. Let go and surrender what is inside of you to the power of the horse below you, and she will carry you to lands unknown.”

 

(c)2012jusczyk-0378

Gallop to Freedom

Because I had no better alternative, and because I’d had the realization that this was going to end with broken bones – mine or even worse – Brenda Lee’s – I let go.

I opened my hips, released my grasp and surrendered all of myself to Brenda Lee, who now felt solid and steady and rhythmic underneath me, witnessing my awareness.

What happened next was the most spiritual experience of my life.
I opened my hips – breathed and surrendered – and together, we disappeared.

Brenda Lee’s head dropped out of sight, lowering to the ground as she accelerated into an even faster speed. (This was related to me by the other riders, as they had now turned to watch us from the top of the field.)

I experienced “No Brian” and “No Brenda Lee”.
There was only just “pure awareness” floating across the field in complete loving silence.

What I felt can be described as,“Everything and Nothing” coexisting at the same time.

It was only for a few seconds – but it felt like forever.

As we reached the top, Brenda Lee transitioned to a high energy trot, a walk and, finally a stop where I fell to the ground, crying like a baby.

Over the next few months I would go to this place daily to hop on Brenda Lee and “Gallop to Freedom”. Brenda Lee would carry me to heaven, a journey we took together, where I finally felt “Enough”.

Brenda Lee showed me the place where all of my fears and doubts coexisted with my passions and desires. She showed me that this was possible, and it was all okay.

I was free!
Free to “Be”, and that began my conscious awareness of my responsibility to free myself, to become what my heart is calling me toward.

That was the beginning of my coming Home.

How about you?

Will you let your “Truth” set you free?
Will you give yourself permission to engage your “Personal Horsepower”?
Breathe – open your hips – surrender yourself and gallop toward freedom!

Gallop to that space where all is accepted “As Is”.
Move with all of yourself, toward your “As If: Imagined Feelings”.

Listen closely. Give yourself permission to feel “Enough”.
Can you hear the whisper?
“You Are Enough!”

You have enough Horsepower within you – Hop on and get ready to Gallop and Soar!
Gallop to Freedom.

Feel the Connection,
Brian Reid


Get Brian’s and Brenda Lee’s help to move you, make that change and ultimately gallop to freedom within a timeframe beyond your imagination.

Book cover

Get Inspirational Whisperings today!

Click here for more info about this book.

 


 

Are You Having A Hard Time Letting Go?

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” 

- Herman Hesse

What is holding you back?
What are the reasons you tell yourself why you don’t have what you want in life?
What do you wish you could let go of because you are simply tired of holding on?
Resentments, jealousies, anger, self-righteousness, fears, sadness, confusion….

Do you want to Let Go of past, present and future limiting thoughts and feelings so you can move on with your life?

How is your “Let Go” working for you?

Can you relate to the feeling of climbing a mountain while at the same time dragging a 1600 lbs weight with you that seems to keep you from reaching that tipping point you so long for? You know that once you reach that point, get up and over, everything else from that moment on will go as smooth as a downhill ride!

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If you’ve been following Horses Know The Way Home for a while now, “The Release That Teaches” will sound familiar to you. “Let Go” so you can “Let’s Go”, feel for your “Yes” and so on are principles that you may have successfully implemented into your own life by now.

Or maybe not quite yet …

I notice that really applying “Letting Go” to “Let’s Go” toward what you truly want isn’t always that easy and that’s why today I’d like to share a success-story of someone I met along the way: Kim Childs.

Kim Childs is a Boston-area Positive Psychology coach, writer, former public radio reporter and Kripalu Yoga teacher who leads self-discovery/creative recovery workshops based on The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, by Julia Cameron.

Last year, Kim interviewed me for Natural Awakenings magazine, a national monthly publication that takes a practical look at the latest natural approaches to nutrition, fitness, creative expression, personal growth and sustainable living. Shortly after this interview, Kim shared an inspirational post in her own Blog, titled “Surrender Equals Control (Huh?)”

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“I’ve come to realize that when I’m holding tightly to specific agendas and outcomes, it’s usually because I fear that my needs won’t be met. In the grip of that fear, I lose control of myself and I lose sight of other options. However, when I identify a desire, take inspired action, surrender the results and allow something bigger to take over I feel more peaceful and, ultimately, in control.
There’s the paradox.”

– Kim Childs

How does this resonate with you?
Can you relate?

What no longer matters to you though is still consuming your time, energy and focus?
What matters to you now?

When I say “Let’s Go”, where do you want to go?

Start with the people, places and things in your life that matter. I don’t mean matter in the sense that they matter because they always have– I mean matter in the sense of, if you were to move to a new life today and you had only two hours to pack, this is what you would take with you, that kind of mattering.
Start today, right where you are and decide to surround yourself only with those people, places and things that you really love.

Why?
Because YOU matter!!!!

Click here to read Kim Childs’ inspirational full story and discover more about her work 

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Let’s Go … !

Feel the Connection,
Brian Reid